To the outside world, we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time. -Clara Ortega
“Relatively Criminal” is a loving, sometimes funny and often heartbreaking memoir that takes the reader inside the adult relationship between two siblings--along with a peek inside the justice system, drug addiction and more. 

Frank is 27 and up for parole, but has nowhere to go. His sister Donna is 31, divorced and alone with two young children, and hopes to re-establish a childhood family connection. She agrees to provide him with a home till he can get back on his feet. 

It first becomes apparent that she doesn’t truly know her adult brother when the parole officer makes a home visit prior to Frank’s arrival.

“Do you know your brother’s criminal history?”

“I’m not sure what you mean by his ‘history’. I know he’s been in jail a couple times.”

Mr. Green chuckled and shook his head. “A couple times? Yes, that’s what I thought you might say. Listen, I want you to be completely aware of just what you’re getting into. Let me show you something.” he said, opening his briefcase and dramatically pulling out a very long, accordion-folded computer print-out. 

“This is your brother’s record.”

She chooses to believe in her brother anyway, insisting she can help him. But while Donna is determined to see him find a normal job and live a normal life, Frank is struggling with a cocaine habit and a learned preference for stealing over work. The next twelve years prove to be a lesson in the dark side for Donna, as she learns more than she ever wanted to know about police, criminals, prison, the justice system, AIDs, and drug addiction. Yet through it all, there is love--unconditional love--between the siblings that makes the journey worth taking.
Says the author: "You can see the path Frank's life followed simply by looking in his eyes in these side-by-side photos above. Frankie at 9 years old, his face innocent and his eyes full of hope. And then Frank at 36, his face hardening, his eyes resigned - he was about to go to jail--again--only this time, for a crime he didn't commit.

I sincerely believe that my brother might have followed a different path with just a little guidance from caring parents - if we'd had them.  I also long to see changes to our justice system, and real rehabilitation offered instead of just incarceration - especially for non-violent offenders."
"Praise for "Relatively Criminal":
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A hilarious, heartbreaking and poignant story of family ties that bind, against all odds." --Kirkus Reviews  
(Click here to read entire review)​
"You don't need to have experienced life with an ex-con or a loved one who suffers from the disease of addiction to appreciate Donna Abear's memoir, "Relatively Criminal".  Abear writes about her journey to rehabilitate her brother with searing honesty and subtle humor that drew me into the story and, before I knew it, I was laughing, crying and rooting for Frankie right along with her."   Nita Hunter, Award-winning radio playwright and Founder/Executive Producer of RG Productions)
"Familial bonds are portrayed with resounding candor, clarity and sensitivity in this first-person story of a sister's prolonged efforts to care for a criminal and drug addict brother … The writing is breezy but always serious, with excellent use of interior monologue to capture many pivotal and intimate moments. The credible dialogue vividly illumines the characters of the brother and sister and their motivations."   Judge, Writer’s Digest Self-Published e-Book Awards ​
"What a remarkable tale about love and addiction. The raw honesty of Ms. Abear's story of her relationship with her brother broke my heart. It also left me with a reverence for those who continue to love and support family members with addictions. I could not put the book down. Told with grace, humor, and unvarnished truth..." ejh, Amazon review (5 stars)
"Looking backwards should always be done with care, and this memoir of caring for a brother with a drug addiction is careful to show the person behind the addict. Rarely are these kinds of stories able to avoid drawing a portrait of a person with problems as someone to be pitied. Instead Donna Abear tells the story of someone who behaved badly but brought a breath of fresh air and fun into what had been for her a difficult life to appreciate. Having loved a number of addicts and criminals in my long life I appreciated this honest depiction of loving troubled but loving people. Highly recommended"  Annie Warbucks, Amazon review (5 stars)